I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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