It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
