what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
