my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
