I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
