no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
