I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't turn off my feet"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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