Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
