this beer tastes like vomit already
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
