Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
