i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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