Welp...herpes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
