we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I died a long time ago.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
