I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize