Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
