It was confusing and full of hummus
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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