Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
