maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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