I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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