Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
