Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
