Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
