Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
