Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
