Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
