About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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