My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
