Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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