i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
