If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
