if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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