My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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