Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
