Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
