There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
