Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
