I must be too annoying 4 u.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and she was petting her beer can
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
