This girl is more easily done than said...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
