Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
