I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
