I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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