hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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