can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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