Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
