Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
