Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
