theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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