I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
