Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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