Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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