I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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