Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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