Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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