i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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